Don’t Judge a Life by its Facebook Cover

Dont judge

I would like to dedicate this little writing on the wall to the lost souls that somehow get caught up in today’s 2.0 f’reality and think that the grass is always greener in other (Facebook) walls.

If your News feed has slowly moved away from friends looking gorgeous in their wedding gowns/tuxedos onto featuring friends nursing their second infant[1], while you are still struggling with delayed facial pimples, you need to read this.

What other walls exhibit, is IRRELEVANT to your reality, and here is why:

  1. Because if you remember the pre-Facebook era, not everyone looked insta-happy. You were shielded from your friends’ glossy and glamorous quotidien. In particular, you were blissfully protected from those who suffer from obsessive-compulsive “chufuni[2]” syndrome[3]. Kept miles away from those who need to check-in with the world every time they go to the restroom. They check-in everywhere except in their own lives… don’t know if this should be pathetic, worrisome, or a pathological sign of sorts…
  1. Because you are the hero of your own screenplay. You need not replicate someone else’s. Ye need not be influenced by it, or worse yet, take the selectively publicly displayed for what is plain real. Ye shall focus inward, on you and on you alone to improve it, polish it, and take care of it. Amen.
  1. Because in this life you are on a customized journey. You may not have initiated your takeoff. But, you definitely control the cruise and the landing. Unless you keep an eye on the control monitor you may lose altitude or, worse yet, lose trajectory. You need to stay focused on your own journey to achieve the best landing. It is irrefutable that there will be winds and turbulences. But keeping your eyes on the prize will get you to your destination safe, successful and sound.
  1. Because no matter how happy your “friends” look on their Facebook photos, they have their own issues, their own fears, their own insecurities, and their own mess; granted they don’t pose when arguing with a spouse or take a selfie after losing a job. Repeat after me, selfies in New York City do not mean happily ever after in reality [4]. Don’t compare others’ public display of happiness with your own behind-the-scenes’ messiness. You don’t know about theirs. So, don’t judge a life by its Facebook cover.
  1. Because as long as you are true to yourself, you love wholeheartedly[5], you do not judge and you gratefully celebrate the blessings in your life: from having two properly working hands (that you waste on Facebook), to your overall health, your intellect, your family, your friends, your hot chocolate, your heater, your AC, you name it; life is INCOMPARABLY GREAT. You are not living under siege, in a prison or in a war zone. You are alive, safe, healthy and sound. This deserves a daily celebration. Be thankful. Everyday.
  1. They say the perks of adult life are a job, an apartment, a social life and a partner. Assess what you have. Celebrate it. Enjoy it. Live it – to its fullest. Remember, just like money, time and health, the former fantastic four take time and effort to assemble. And remember, don’t you ever settle for less than what you deserve[6] just to assemble your life puzzle. Some pieces may remain missing for quite sometime. But eventually they will come together, surely, gradually. Resist the urge to skip on your life just because you’re missing what your neighbor has.

So my happiness prescription for you is, three times daily to:

  1. Take control of your journey – preferably as the pilot not the co-pilot.
  1. Take your time to find the right pieces.
  1. Check-in with your own life: meditate, laugh, pray, sing, write, whatever your thing, just check-in.
  1. Live… in the air, in the water, in the rain, somewhere over the rainbow… as long as it is away from Facebook
  1. They say you can’t have it all. I say, define what “all” means. You can have what you want as long as you are willing to give in to what it takes to get it and most importantly sustain it.

 

Footnotes:

[1] masha’Allah, khmssa ou khmiss. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love children and encourage procreation as long mommies are spending more time with babies and less time on Facebook.

[2] Chufuni – Arabic – meaning « look at me » 

[3] Allah injina wi nijikum

[4] And trust me, I have a few of these. Not for a lack of trying. “New York, its streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire”… daba, let’s wake up!

[5] You don’t have to love the a**holes that have no ethics, no integrity and that piss you off. Just ignore their existence.

[6] Or else you will get even less than what you settled for. Some wise dude said this and it stuck with me for years.

3 comments

  1. This was a wonderful article, and I totally agree. A part of it also brought to mind a neat quote from the movie One Hour Photo: “Family photos depict smiling faces… births, weddings, holidays, children’s birthday parties. People take pictures of the happy moments in their lives. Someone looking through our photo album would conclude that we had led a joyous, leisurely existence free of tragedy. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget”. I really enjoyed the type of encouragement you offer in your realism. Very straightforward and refreshing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Darryl, I have thought about writing this for quite some time as I noticed how Facebook started affecting some of my surrounding’s morale. It seems unfortunate that along with houses, cars, looks, etc. Facebook emerged as yet one more judging tool for people to hang on to. I invite you to check out to this effect, a cool song by Stromae: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKftOH54iNU

      Liked by 2 people

      • I decided to unplug a bit from social media for this sort of reason myself, so I understand your perspective. Thank you so much for the video recommendation also!

        Like

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