About Miss Catastrophe: Someone- probably tired of hearing them- thought my mishaps were worth spreading… Inspired by Kyan Khojandi’s shortcom “Bref”, I, a.k.a Miss Catastrophe narrate some of my daily adventures worth sharing for a laugh, a lesson or both in less than 500 words. So here you are, as long as you don’t correlate them to karma or to my intellect, you can proceed.
After a long crappy rainy week, Friday was finally there. And for once I had made solid weekend plans. Yes, I made plans and… in advance: Brunch with colleagues Saturday morning; a DC bucket list hop on hop off activity in the afternoon; and a kosher dinner made by my non-kosher Jewish friend. As for Sunday, it would be under the theme hike-n-bike at the park to celebrate my first real and serene fall season….
It was a perfect plan for a long due sunny weekend…until reality struck. Just like lightening: it hit suddenly but brought long lasting consequences with it. In preparation for my exciting weekend, the Miss Catastrophe in me decided to look “hotter” and ended up looking so. Literally. Her highness wanted to pamper her face and had her side burns –wait for it- waxed. Ach Dak tmchi l ziin?! It is not like those side burns were visible to anyone at the first place. Well, except to Miles: my mirror. But visibility has never been a criterion in my beauty or hygiene routines… (Note to self: consider changing some of your archaic self-imposed rules)
Instead of just hair follicles, I removed a layer of my poor skin. On both sides of course. First degree burn. I hope so at least: I am no dermatologist. All I know, I peeled off my epithelium. Completely. Now, I have two red plums instead of “pommettes”. And my red cheeks feel much “hotter” indeed. A perfect Halloween facial configuration; except that Halloween is in two weeks.
Now don’t you dare ask me how my weekend was. My super plans cancelled, Saturday and Sunday were cozily insipidly spent in front of HBO; sipping on Japanese green tea, surfing on medical forums looking for other serial clumsy peeps to empathize with and brainstorm best cover up ideas. How I shall cover my mess on Monday was my lingering concern…
Until I had another one of my Eureka moments: adopt a burka of course! It is legal here. It is a full coverage solution that will keep the wounds open and avoid using make-up and screwing up the healing process. Genius, right.
On Monday, burka on, I head to work and pull the story of a sudden engagement to an ultra conservative fiancé.
Ten days later, my face healed. Burka out. Pulled the story of a breakup: you guys did not think one second I could tolerate a dude who wants to control my dress code?! Did you?
Bref, Halloween came early this year…